5 Powerful Lessons I’ve Learned About Life as a Young Mom of Four

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There is no doubt about it, going through life teaches you many valuable lessons. Some come with age, others with hardships, but then there are those that can only be taught when you are responsible for another human life. Not just any life, but a life that you brought into this world. My journey into motherhood began when I was just 19, young by today’s standards. These are the 5 powerful lessons that I’ve learned about life as a young mom of four children.

1. Pick and Choose Your Battles Wisely

Is it really worth the stress of a grumpy toddler to not let them wear mix matched clothes to the grocery store? I don’t think so. As a young mother, I was more worried about the judgement of others. What will people think of me if my child isn’t perfectly dressed? Surely they’ll think I’m the worst.

I’ve really come to realize that the opposite is usually true. Sure, you’ll find the Karen who brags about the expensive clothes and immaculate appearance of children who have red around their eyes from the tantrum they threw on the way. But most people ( I hope) realize that it doesn’t really matter much anyway. I’d rather carry Elsa to the grocery store with a smile on her face than a screaming toddler dressed for a modeling shoot.

All this is to say that there are certain hills to die on, but you must choose wisely. With the rise of social media dictating our social norms, we must as mothers be aware of what is worth our energy and what is not. Our family values can be a tremendous help here. In our house, we value independence and self expression over looking like every one else. It really helps in cutting a huge stress out of our day to day lives.

2. Children Aren’t the Burden Society Makes Them Out to Be.

After taking many hikes with young children, I can’t help but think sometimes what it would be like to just be able to walk straight through a trail. How much faster would we be if it were just my husband and I? How many more trails would we have the opportunity to hike if we could keep a fast pace? One thing would be missing in this scenario, though: presence.

Kids have a great way of bringing you into the present moment. They are wonderful teachers in the art of slowing down and savoring every detail. I’ve never spoken with an elderly person who said they wished they’d have gone about life at a faster pace. Never. But I quite frequently hear the opposite.

Though having tag-a-longs in your day to day life poses extra steps and a slower pace, it is such a valuable lesson and something that will be cherished when I’m older. I know that some day I will miss these small moments. And you know something else? I actually ENJOY the time spent with my kids. Do I have days where I need to go and run errands on my own for my own sanity? Of course. I’m not proposing motherhood is easy or that children don’t require a lot of hard work. I am simply choosing not to look at my children as another burden in life, and instead actively enjoying their company as much as possible.

3. Home Education Isn’t Just For Kids.

I was a typical public school student growing up. I excelled in academics and the rigorous nature of advanced courses. As a product of this environment, I did a great job in doing as I was told and learning what was placed before me.

When we made the decision to home educate our kids, I had no idea that I would also be at the learning end of this endeavor. I never knew how much fun learning could be until we stepped into the world of actual learning. Not taking notes and studying for exams that are required. I mean actual, hands on, enjoyment- centered learning.

Homeschooling opened the door to the world of podcasts, educational YouTube, books, and other materials that greatly enhanced my love of learning. You can literally learn anything in the world (almost) with a phone or computer. The concepts and cultures that we’ve learned about have vastly added a lot of value to my life and how I look at the world.

With this style of education, however, comes a lot of unlearning. There were plenty of “facts” and theories that have been disproved and plenty more data to add to what has been known. Home education has been wonderful not only for my children and our relationship, but also for myself and my relationship to learning.

4. Life Is Too Short to Compare Yourself to Others.

We are such a diverse species living in a whole broad range of locations across the world. We can’t possibly expect all of us to follow the same styles, customs, and ideologies. Taking home education as an example, there are as many distinct homeschooling styles as there are families. No two households will be the same. The same is true with parenting styles, spiritual beliefs, and overall views of life.

Social media families will almost always look perfect because that is what is shown. Life doesn’t always look like this for anyone. We all have our struggles and triumphs. We all have different values. One family might value books over electronics and vice versa. Another might value experiences over material items. Whose to say who is right?

We’re all on the same planet, going through life as best as we can. Our differences are what make us unique and I’ve learned that you should just be yourself. When your personality radiates into the world, the right people will find you and appreciate you for who you are. You should never try to hide the real you. Authenticity is an important character trait and sets a very healthy precedent for children to follow.

5. You’re Never Too Old to Stop Playing.

Everyone is so serious nowadays, and it’s kind of sad to me. Everyone’s too busy running around checking off every box that they forget to fulfill their own need to play. I’m not just talking about playing with your kids, though that’s important as well. I’m also not proposing that you have to get on the floor and play with Barbies on your own (though I won’t judge if that’s your thing).

Play as an adult is meant to be something joyful that isn’t done out of coercion or because you have to. It can be in the form of hobbies like art, gardening, hiking, books, or even cooking and baking. Playing can also just be a spontaneous dance party. Nothing is really out of bounds here. The real question is when did you last stop and do something joyful?

Being a mom has taught me the joy of doing things that bring me joy. Whether it be with my kids or myself, I am able to pour into my family more when I make sure to take the time to play. Life doesn’t need to always be serious. Live a little. Play a little. Get messy.

In Conclusion

I began this parenting journey with the mindset that I would always be the one teaching, but this has been far from the truth. Sharing this life with my kids has made me the student more times than I can count. The valuable life lessons that have been learned along the way teach me that there is always more to life than you think.

Of course it is my role to teach my children academics and life skills, but it is also true that I am a student on this path as well. They’ve taught me far more than I ever imagined when I was a young mom.

“While we try to teach our children all about life, our children teach us what life is all about.”

-Angela Schwindt